Articles
Reading for a hard season
Written by the two of us, from the therapy room. Not quick fixes - these are the longer answers to the questions couples in crisis actually ask.
Can a broken marriage be fixed? An honest answer from the therapy room
People usually ask us this question in the past tense - something broke, and now we want it repaired, like a watch. After two decades with couples in crisis, we would answer it honestly: yes, more often than the hopeless nights suggest. But not the way people imagine, and not back to what it was.
Why 'just communicate better' won't save a marriage in crisis
It is the most common advice a struggling couple hears, from friends, books and the internet alike: you two just need to communicate better. We have spent twenty years watching couples try. Here is why it so rarely works - and what the advice gets exactly backwards.
When your partner shuts down: what the wall is made of
You are mid-sentence and you watch it happen: the eyes go flat, the answers shrink to 'I don't know', and the person you married is suddenly behind glass. Few things in a marriage are lonelier than talking to a wall - and few things are more misread than what the wall actually is.